I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
