I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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