Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
