I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
