I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
