I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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