dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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