Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize