I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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