I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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