i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
