She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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