i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
