I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
