Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"

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  (407): i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks" http://tfl.nu/9b0l
  Replies (14) Good night (1277) Bad night (3189)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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  (803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya
  Replies (29) Good night (8379) Bad night (872)
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  (831): View more from California

  i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

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  (831): i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock? http://tfl.nu/twxe
  Replies (5) Good night (4925) Bad night (1016)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (4839) Bad night (1799)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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  (732): why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos? http://tfl.nu/di91
  Replies (14) Good night (3647) Bad night (752)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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  (727): pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club.... http://tfl.nu/k1jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1853) Bad night (502)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.

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  (732): You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire. http://tfl.nu/i4tp
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (628)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?

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  (828): Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight? http://tfl.nu/35kg
  Replies (10) Good night (717) Bad night (2580)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.

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  (912): That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in. http://tfl.nu/hmpn
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (1065)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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  (416): We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there. http://tfl.nu/uram
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (476)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator

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  (701): You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator http://tfl.nu/12pr
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (345)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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  (248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (275)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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  (402): woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed http://tfl.nu/vpuo
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (150)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential

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  (518): We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential http://tfl.nu/2oz5
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I need a costume

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha

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  (425): I need a costume (206): Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha http://tfl.nu/g01f
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (352)

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