Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  one two three fourrrrnication!

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  (650): one two three fourrrrnication! http://tfl.nu/2jpj
  Replies (4) Good night (3754) Bad night (681)
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  (714): View more from California

  Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful

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  (714): Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful http://tfl.nu/3flc
  Replies (30) Good night (7170) Bad night (1432)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know

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  (785): One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know http://tfl.nu/bbwr
  Replies (14) Good night (1800) Bad night (3225)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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  (503): gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb http://tfl.nu/zgfq
  Replies (24) Good night (4372) Bad night (1149)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  (913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea
  Replies (6) Good night (4829) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you

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  (786): you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you http://tfl.nu/pl4e
  Replies (2) Good night (3196) Bad night (950)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

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  (512): Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning? http://tfl.nu/pcyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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  (805): I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it. http://tfl.nu/eeuf
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (1341)
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  (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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  (559): I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me. http://tfl.nu/4goz
  Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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  (828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2
  Replies (6) Good night (1368) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

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  (541): So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that" http://tfl.nu/ex2y
  Replies (12) Good night (2553) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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  (304): 1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills. http://tfl.nu/lzae
  Replies (10) Good night (1510) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

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  (857): Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works. http://tfl.nu/hgbu
  Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

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  (616): i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!! (1-616): BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!! http://tfl.nu/gsty
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.

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  (718): He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more. http://tfl.nu/sjjx
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (260)

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