I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How many fucks given?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.