i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
