I want to make a zoo with you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
