I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize