i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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