What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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