I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize