Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
