You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
