You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
