Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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