so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
