I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
