i just had sex bonerless
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
