And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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