jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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