Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize