Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
