we're blogging at a bar
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
