No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
