Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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