I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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