Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
