You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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