Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
