He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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