You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
