he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
