Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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