Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
