After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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