you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
