just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
