Swine flu. Run for my life!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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