I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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