Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
organizing the empties. That sober.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
