god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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