Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
