If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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