Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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