Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
