So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
