Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
