Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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